True romance is in the eye of the beholder

Sometimes when I share my story of how my husband and I got married, I feel as though some people feel it’s not “romantic.” I know and understand that no one can make you feel anything without your consent. 

I guess I have thought about it a lot lately because the few girls that I have as friends have these huge rocks on their fingers. Please don’t get me wrong they are exquisitely beautiful rings. Just not for me.   

So today instead of writing about books, random thoughts, movies, etc I thought I would share that story, a story that is a bit personal and is real.

Often how my husband and I met does not come up. I’m not sure why, it just doesn’t. We actually meet online, and it turns out we lived about 10 minutes away from each other. Growing up we went to the same mall, movie theater, but never ran into each other. 

When my husband and I first met, all I could think about was a conversation I once had with my mother. When I was little I would ask my mom, how do you know when you are in love? She would reply, you just know. That drove me crazy, but when I met my husband for the first time, I knew what the phrase “you just know” meant. 

During our third date, me being myself, I said to him why do I get the feeling I am going to be around you for the rest of my life. And he felt the same way. I knew it was real because I was not in love with the idea of being love. I felt safe and comfortable. To some that may not be as romance as the movies, but it’s better than that, its real.

By our third month of dating my husband proposed. And no he did not give me an engagement ring. I do not say that with regret, or anger. All that matters to me is that we not only love each other, but we like each other. After a year of being together, we were both working and going to school

A little while before Spring Break, we discussed setting the wedding date. Then we decided to just do it. We loved each other, and did not want to spend another day being apart from one another. We wanted to be man and wife. That may not seem romantic to some, but what’s more romantic than being spontaneous?

My husband and I have been married for twelve years. Someone once asked me how do we make it work? I shared with them that less than a year after my husband and I were married he got deployed. So the best piece of advice I could give them do not spend your time caring about who is right because life is too short. And don’t go to bed angry, because after he was deployed we knew more than ever that part of marriage is friendship.

I think what matters most is what is important to the couple. For some it is the big engagement party or wedding, for others it’s a small wedding with family and a few friends. What makes it wonderful about each is that there is no wrong way. To me, what is more romantic than a representation of a couple’s love and how they decide on their own terms how to express that love.