Do or do not. There is no try.

I’ve been thinking a lot about when we let things get to us. And then either complain, or just give up all together. Sometimes they are not even the big events that happen. There are smaller things like what someone said about us. Or, that we let someone take away our good day, our joy. Which lead me to thinking about when a friend of mine who recently got married asked what the secret is to having a good marriage. It’s not for me to sit up on a soap box, or giving advice. It’s about me sharing a small piece of my story and who I am.

My husband and I had not even been married over a year before he got deployed. He was gone a year and a half. He did have one time of leave, which was kept getting pushed back. That was no fault of his, just something that happens. I cried when he left, but it was not in an “I can’t live” way. For starters I knew in my heart because I had a sense of peace knowing he would be back home. Second the whole “I can’t live” thing is not real love because it’s not true. That type of love is make believe movie love. True love is knowing you put that person before yourself, which means there are times when we must take care of ourselves for the other person. It’s like the phrase, you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

After having a couple of days of a routine, my mom gave me the best advice I have kept with me. “When you speak to your husband don’t fight, don’t bring up silly things that do not matter because he needs to be focused. And he can’t do that when he is worrying about you. Not that he won’t be worried but he needs to know you can take care of yourself.”

She was right. When my husband and I had the chance to speak I did not talk about what a bad day I had at work. I spent this time saying how much I missed him, and that I loved him. We talked about us, and the future. Because when you think about it, why spend all the little time you have picking a fight.

When my husband got back, I decide to keep that advice to heart. To this day we do not go to bed angry. And when I say that I do not necessarily mean after an argument, I just mean if someone is having a day that just really got to them we don’t go to bed angry. It’s not to say that we do not have a disagreement. But before that disagreement goes anywhere we take a moment to realize, why spend even a small amount of time over something that is really nothing when you think about it?

The morale of the, story boys and girls, is to take a moment during the stresses and noise of the day to remember what matters most. It may be easier said than done. But when it comes to remembering friends, loved ones, and happiness are what matters most … Do or do not. There is no try. That may have sounded a bit harsh, but if we don’t just do it (remember) and we spend all our time saying I’ll try again tomorrow we could possibly be a little too late. And we should not spend our lives living and dealing with everyday stresses to realize in the end those things (money, career) will not be what we are remembered for. I know for sure that I want to remember being a loving person, not someone who complained over silly things that do not matter.

My thoughts after watching Spider-Man 2

I will say after watching Spider-Man is that I cannot stop singing Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Darn you ring tones, and your catching songs. But I won’t get all nerd ranty either. I just wanted to share my random thoughts after watching the movie. Hopefully they are not too random and all over the place.

Hopefully I also do not spoil the movie too much for anyone who has not seen it yet. And I may also even share the same views as my better half. (What can I say, we’ve been married for twelve years. So you get to know someone? I kid, I kid.)

When I saw Electro, and I saw that he disappeared and reappeared, I turned towards Dr. Manhattan and asked where have I seen this before? Poor Max he just wanted to be seen.

I am glad I did not have to see Gwen and Peter go back and forth the entire movie. Or, that the entire movie did not revolve around their relationship. Poor Gwen. I guess they decided to stay true to the comic in her end. (Sorry one more…) Poor Peter everyday going to see Gwen.

Was it me or Harry was rocking the hipster look. Don’t get me wrong Dane DeHaan did a great job playing Harry. It wasn’t bad but just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit distracting when Andrew Garfield all of sudden got very east coast when he and Harry were catching up.

I felt as though the ending was weird because when Gwen dies, (Sorry, not sure why I whisper dies. I guess, feel like in movies and tv it’s a bad word. If that makes sense.) Anyway when she, uh, passes away it seemed like the movie should have ended there, or the scene should have been placed in another part of the movie? (She asked in a high voice.)

But if you just go to the movie for entertainment purposes, I guess you can’t go wrong. Right? Fictional characters! (That was my Ben Affleck impersonation from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.) Speaking of man, man this blog is shorter than I thought it would be. I guess my random thoughts weren’t as many as I thought. You know what I mean. (She said confident, but nervous.)